So right now I have been given the biggest reminder of all that I am an incurable member of geek society (and I like it!). Due to a rather annoying and monstrous storm AKA Hurricane Sandy, I have had two days off form school. The first one I didn't mind, because it spared me the unspeakable evil of a lunch I would've otherwise been forced to endure (lunch itself is a fourths us monstrosity in my world because being an outcast, I am forced to sit alone until someone pities me and invites me over, where no one EVER talks to me. Plus, as I may or may not have mentioned previously, with the middle school track record I have collected, I am going to be the high school's personal locker hobbit. Thanks a lot, nerd brain.), but today is WAY different. Most kids would envy me, but no, geek girl over here is absolutely irked to the highest degree. I have missed for this STUPID HURICANE a double period each of Art, Geography, and Spanish, the ONLY good doubles. So, yeah, not such a good day.
I haven't told you yet, but my entire grade has to do this big play together. I do honestly believe that it's mass humiliation for a grade. I personally love it, but everyone else HATES IT, which quite honestly sucks because with all their complaints, everybody gets dragged down. On the other hand, people look up to my (and before I say it I will admit to a bit of vanity here) exemplary skill. I just don't care, quite honestly, what other people think anymore. I already have come to terms with the fact that I will never fit the status quo. Normality is the one class I can never land an A in, and that's damn swell by me. Anyway, there's one exception to my outside-opinion rule, and that's Benicio. I kinda/sorta/really did ask him to come, and in exchange I would go to his that he's stage crewing for (which sounds vastly superior to ours but who cares?) like a week ago and he hasn't responded. I saw him once, but that was with other friends and I wouldn't dare ask in front of them, or he'll know I like him (they don't know, but they'll tease me to no end about that on a guess and I know I'll become the most vivid shade of red possible and that's how my secret will come out and everything will be ruined.). So here I sit, waiting and waiting, bored out of my mind, dying to know if he's coming or not. To tell the truth, I would love him to come more than anyone else in to world, and if he doesn't... I don't know how to say it, but it might break my heart a little bit. I guess that it's a little extreme and all, it's just... Everyone I've ever looked up to was in love at some point. I think it just slipped into my head and now I just want to be in lode with somebody more than anything. But it's just silly to believe in things like that. I mean, the person I dream of couldn't possibly exist, and... Okay here's the truth, whole and honest: Who could ever love someone like me? I can't even make friends, how do I ever expect some guy to come along and be attracted to that? Love is just not in the cards for me, no matter how much I want it. Besides, I'm too young anyway.
On a minimally more cheerful note, the contest is still open for the tweeting of this blog's link to @Edon Tweets or Facebook it to Edon AGT. I am begging someone to do this, as I am forbidden to obtain an account on either until I am who-knows-how-old. I am thinking Junior year at least. Maybe a Christmas thing that year? Anyway PLEASE do it, this guy is one of my heroes and I would be honored if someone did this. For the records, I don't like him in that way, I just think he's a great person with tallent who stays human through and through. He followed his dream, and he didn't loose himself along the way. Edon, if you are reading this, know you inspire me just as much as the Nobel Prize winners and Riverbend (Iraqi blogger, amazing person. Check her out at http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html).
My pessimism is deffinitely NOT the greatest asset. After all, there are so many other people out there who have it so much worse than me, I should be happier. So, anyway, in light of this, I have decided to walk barefoot between school buildings no matter how many infractions I encour. OMG, great idea: what if we had a barefoot walk-a-thon in Boston MA? Everyone brings at least one large tarp and we line them up along the common and walk down them? The money we raise could go to a local homeless shelter to buy shoes and winter boots for children who don't have them. We could even bring used shoes to supplement the walk! I would really love to do this, maybe in the spring because of the increasingly cold weather. We have no desire for our generous walkers to go home frostbitten! Or maybe we could do it inside... Either way, imagine the amazing things we could do all together! Have got to get going on this!
Wow, this is why I guard this blog so adamantly. The life-changing ideas I come up with while talking to you defy the harsh reality we live in. See, it's our generation that is going to change the world someday, like all those before us and those yet to come. We are the future of our planet, our people, our entire world, and everything we do as children shows us what kind of changes we're going to make. In the words of the famed poet Mark Stand, "The future is always beginning now." so why wait?
Anyway, I should probably go now, my nanny (yes, I am a teenager, but that doesn't mean a damn thing. I am not too old to have a nanny, she's been here since forever and she's like my second mom, so don't you judge) is coming to pick me up. ¡Chau! |
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