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modifier supprimer 39795 - de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-15 >> NEW
Ecrivain - "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 6"

There were indeed more jumps to come. Luna and her new friend leapt from wall to roof, going higher every jump. After what seemed about fifty leaps, Luna learnt that the best thing to do in the process of flying mid air was to shut your eyes, hold out your arms and feel the wind blow in your face and hair. Once you got the hang of it, flying was pure bliss. It was so unlike riding a horse. Luna never once felt like she was going to fall of or that she would break her neck holding out her arms mid leap. She was beginning to think that she was an expert at Wanil riding, when she figured out she was wrong. Terribly wrong.
'Here comes the big one.' Said Vastwars. 'What do you mean?' But he was already of. This time they soared. They soared for what seemed like hours to Luna and her seat muscles were getting sore and her head was spinning. Finally, rider and beast came to a halt and Luna dropped of her ride and fell face into something fluffy and soft. It was a whole ten minutes before she got up and looked around. Everything was black and there were twinkling masses of light. Suddenly, Luna realised where they were. Stars!
'We're in the sky!'


modifier supprimer 39793 - de Winnie116 , 13 ans (Chine) - 2021-05-15 >> NEW
Ecrivain - "分享一件事以及一些提"

以前因为冲动的想法,再加上和朋友一起看见了做RPGgame的简易软件介绍,一时兴奋想要和她一起做一个游戏。我从现有的故事里挑出一个写成剧本,但在刚开始写开头的时候却发现真是无比艰难。很久以前我也为一个语言cosplay的群写过剧本,但游戏剧本没有写过,还要在剧本里告诉制作游戏的人“这里要有什么效果”以此类推。无比艰巨,最后这个计划烂尾了。
虽然现在已经不再写那个游戏的剧本了,但因为好奇,想问问看这里有没有小伙伴会写游戏剧本的?希望可以得到一些基本指导。
另:故事是身为玩家的中国人在一次睡梦中进入另外一个世界,玩家设定是中药世家,在游戏中第一次登场的地方认识了游戏中的另外两位主角:艾因(女)和叶源舟(男),一起踏上两位主角的任务旅途。


modifier supprimer 39791 - de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-14 >> NEW
Ecrivain - "Has inspiration died?"

Think I tell myself
how hard can it be?
Just ravel inside your mind
and find inspiration in what is yours
You've done it before
Oh has inspiration died?
Has my imagination left
without saying goodbye?
No that cannot be
I'll simply right the first thing I see
But how can a blank page help at all?
Well never mind that I can find a quote
but all I can find is soulless
I'll read a book anyone I can find
But poems aren't stories
They are time capsules to another place
Oh has inspiration died
Has my inspiration left
without saying goodbye?
Beginning to lose hope I shuffle
a playlist made ages ago
But all songs make my mind feel weak
That is it!
I begin to scream
I shall never write again
Without inspiration I can never win
Little did I know that blank page wasa story on it's own


39791 -
modifier supprimer 39796 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-15 >> NEW

Yup!

39791 -
modifier supprimer 39794 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-15 >> NEW

Did you run out of inspiration and think that having no inspiration was inspiration?

39791 -
modifier supprimer 39792 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-14 >> NEW

Hey guys! I decided to try something different this time I hope you like it!

modifier supprimer 39787 - de Eléa83 , 12 ans (France) - 2021-05-13 >> NEW
Ecrivain - "Seule française"

Est ce que je suis le seule française qui veut devenir écrivain?


39787 -
modifier supprimer 39790 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-14 >> NEW

Je peux parler le francais!

-Maddie

modifier supprimer 39781 - de Winnie116 , 13 ans (Chine) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW
Ecrivain - "Hi friends(just a meaningless message)"

I like your writings all!! Although I can't understand all of them...it's awesome that you know how to write poems! Please post more your writings! I would like to learn more from you!


modifier supprimer 39767 - de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-07
Ecrivain - "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 5"

Vastwars gripped Luna's wrist in his mouth and began to pull her to the window. 'Come with me Luna', he said. 'Come with you where?' 'Come into the night with me. Come and explore the realm of mystery.' Luna did not need bidding twice. She grabbed the coverlet from her bed and threw it round her shoulders, for it was rather cold, pulled herself through the window, and stood up on the outside window ledge. She threw out her arms and let the cooling breeze blow in her face. She heard Vastwars' voice at her heels. 'Climb onto my back and don't let go.' Luna climbed onto Vastwars back and held onto his long, thick fur. 'Ready?' The Wanil's rider gave a squeeze on his sides in reply. 'Well then, let's go!' And with that the beast braced his muscles and sprang!
'Aaaahhhhh!' Luna's scream was half out of fear and half out of the exultation of being in the air. Her Wanil landed on silent cat paws on the top of the garden wall. 'That was the most wonderful and scary thing I've ever done!' Luna breathed as she looked over the space they had flown over. 'The most wonderful things are scary.' Her companion replied. 'Now don't let go your grip; there are more to come.' So with one more look at her bedroom window Luna clung to her new found friend and readied herself for the adventure ahead, for there were to be many.


modifier supprimer 39764 - de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-06
Ecrivain - "Romanticizing hell"

The darkness caresses your soul
Telling you to remove all light
You ly in death yet all I warned
Never romanticize those of hell
Learn to love those above
Adore heaven instead
Dancing upon the firey coal
Inside the infinite loop
Your hair turns dark as ash
All that glitters is still gold
Yet the world you hide
So follow me to the light
Learn to love what is bright
Leave your anguish in the night
You loved everything
Living in your head more than life
Living in make-believe
Adore heaven instead
and stop romanticizing hell


39764 -
modifier supprimer 39784 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW

Awww your sweet!

39764 -
modifier supprimer 39779 - Réponse de delilah79 , 11 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW

omg I was gone for a while and I forgot how good your poems were

39764 -
modifier supprimer 39768 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-07

Thank you!

39764 -
modifier supprimer 39766 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-07

Your poems always have so much meaning in them!

modifier supprimer 39760 - de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-05
Ecrivain - "Heart of the Night: Chapter 4"

Luna placed her hand in between Vastwars lynx-like ears and ran it down his wolf's snout. The Wanil crooned, dog-like and tucked his paws under him with half closed eyes, like some gigantic house cat as Luna dragged herself onto his side of the window-sill, stroking his thick fur. Than, something made her rise and look at her hands. They were covered with purple sparkles that shone like glitter. As she gazed at them, she felt something bubbling up inside her; a feeling of happiness, a sort of carefree happiness, and something else as well that she couldn't quite distinguish. Their was only one reaction she could make to that feeling, and she did it. She laughed. She laughed and she laughed till her heart felt as if it would grow wings and fly.
Vastwars laughed with her. His laugh was a whine; the musical whine of a cat at night, and it sang pure magic into the air.


modifier supprimer 39758 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-04
Ecrivain - "Part two..."

In the box was an iphone. That was correct, but it wasn’t the iphone she was hoping for. It was only the iphone 21! She didn’t even think you could buy those anymore! And she was right. “We couldn’t afford a new phone, so you get mom’s old one.” Their Dad explained, smiling like it was a good thing. “C-can it call storybook characters?” Chloe sniffed, close to tears. “Um, we had a slight complication with that one.” Their mom said nervously. The tears were stinging Chloe’s eyes now. “You may call one storybook character.” Her dad stated, patting their mom’s back as she cringed with guilt. Chloe’s tears began to spill. How could she choose just ONE? More like one hundred! She snatched the phone from the box and ran to her room. She slammed the door shut and stacked piles of boxes she planned to decorate in front so nobody could get in. She watched her new-old phone’s screen light up, illuminating the large crack on the screen. This is the worst birthday ever, she thought grimly. She glanced over at her overflowing bookshelf, wondering who she was going to call. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, which she decided to ignore. The knock continued for a few minutes, and finally Chloe opened the door and leaped into her closet. She peered under the crack of the door, and was surprised to see Zara, searching her room. “Chloe, this isn’t funny. Come out or I'll burn your gifts.” Zara grumped, pacing Chloe’s room. Chloe let out a small snicker. Like she cared if her gifts got burnt. She almost would have rathered to get ash wrapped in a bow for her birthday. “Get out or you’ll never get the birthday present I got you!” Zara snapped. Now that caught Chloe’s attention. She crawled stealthily out of the closet and poked Zara’s leg. “EEEEEEEEEE!” She shrieked, whirling around faster than a racecar on a book on the couch with Sparky curled up beside her, and her dad was on his phone, catching up on Facebook or something. Of all the new apps, her parents still stuck with dumb ol’ Facebook. “Where did Zara go?” Chloe asked sternly, placing her hands on her hips. Her parents gave each other unsure glances, until her dad spoke up. “She’s just running some errands for us.” He said, not taking his eyes off his phone. Chloe grunted. ‘What a typical excuse.’ She thought, glaring at her parents. “I do NOT believe that!” She snapped, stomping over to her mom. “She’s going on a date with that dumb Eric guy, right?” Chloe asked, reaching her hand for Sparky’s soft fur. Instead she felt her mom’s strong grip. “We do not call people dumb in this household, Sweetie. You know that.” She said firmly. “You always take Zara’s side!” Chloe whined, pulling away from her mom’s grip. “She isn’t at her date yet, ok? It’s not until later.” Chloe’s mom said matter-of-factly, releasing Chloe’s hand. Chloe ran back upstairs and back into her room. She curled up in her bed, hugging her stuffed elephant, Binky, and eventually cried herself to sleep. When she woke up, she pranced downstairs with new energy. She’d barely slept the night before, but who did the night before their birthday? Especially when they THOUGHT they would get the gift of their dreams. She saw Zara on the tattered arm chair, clutching a shiny white box. To Chloe’s surprise, Zara handed her the box. It looked like the boxes that held expensive diamond rings, just bigger. “What, you want me to propose to Eric for you?” Chloe blurted out, examining the box. Zara rolled her eyes. “No, idiot, it’s for you.” She said, annoyed. Their mom shot Chloe and Zara a ‘look.’ “What is with the name calling, girls? I hope this is just a phase…” She said nervously. “Just open it.”


39758 -
modifier supprimer 39771 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-09

Like a page on this website so we can message each other. If you click on my page I have one.

39758 -
modifier supprimer 39769 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-08

What do you mean?

39758 -
modifier supprimer 39765 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-07

Do you have a 'Students of the world' account Maddie?

39758 -
modifier supprimer 39761 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-05

Thank you so much!

39758 -
modifier supprimer 39759 - Réponse de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-04

This is even better than your last one. I love how it's building up!

modifier supprimer 39753 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-03
Ecrivain - "My story: Part one"

Saturday, April 11th, 2048
Chloe Harris awoke in excitement. Today was the day! Her fourteenth birthday was finally here, and as a birthday present, she was sure that she would get the one thing she’d been longing for for years! The new, improved iphone 67! It had the ability to call any storybook character, install up to 6,000 apps, and take pictures with over 800 filters! Well, her parents hadn’t actually told her they’d get her one… yet. But Chloe was sure she would. She sprung out of her bed excitedly, unlike her usual habit of sleeping in on Saturdays. She threw on a striped T-Shirt and jean shorts. Her parents always told her that April was too cold for shorts, but she was sure they’d make an exception on her special day. She sprung downstairs and bounced around, shrieking the word ‘PRESENTS!’ over and over like the psycho clown from the movie ‘Inside Out.’ After a few minutes of doing this, she was greeted by grumpy, tired parents and an even grumpier older sister, Zara. Chloe addressed her as the ‘16 year old pain in the bottom.’ “Why did you get me up so early? I have a date with Eric today, and I’m going to have dark circles under my eyes. And it’s all YOUR fault!” She complained, whining like a 4 year old. “Uh, it’s my BIRTHDAY. Your 18th boyfriend can wait.” Chloe replied casually, rolling her eyes. Zara whined to mom and mentioned something about Chloe being a fat meanie. “So, can I open my presents now?” Chloe grinned, jumping around in a circle. “Hold up, it’s 6:26 in the MORNING.” Zara groaned, glancing at mom and dad hopefully. But to Chloe’s delight, their dad was already on his way to grab the presents from the basement. Zara sulked and sat down on the old couch, torn and ripped apart by their dog, sparky, who was napping in the dining room. Soon enough, their dad came back with a big stack of presents. Chloe saw Zara shoot the stack of presents with a jealous glare, which just made Chloe even more content. She grabbed the biggest one, because that obviously wasn’t iphone size. The main reason she wanted the iphone so badly was to call all her crushes from books- and she had many. Her excitement rose as she tore apart the shiny green wrapping paper, which faded as soon as she saw what it was. SOCKS. Her parents had gotten her a pack of 100 SOCKS for her birthday. She plastered on a fake smile. “Thank you! Gotta love those socks, heh heh.” She exclaimed unconvincingly, patting the box of socks like it was a prized possession. Her sister was definitely not fooled, but her parents, weirdly, were. “We thought you could use some new ones, since all your others had holes in them.” Her dad explained. “Aren’t they ADORABLE?!!” Her mom gushed, grinning widely. Chloe couldn’t help but consider her mom brain dead, staring at the llama patterned socks in disappointment. “Well? What are you waiting for? Open the next one! I don’t want to waste any more of my time on this!” Zara said grumpily under her breath. Chloe sighed and shoved the socks away, trying to dig up hope for the next present. She went through four more presents until there was just a small, iphone sized box left. But after the past presents, she wasn’t so sure. The presents she’d gotten were no better than the socks. A whoopee cushion, which she was not allowed to use on her sister (so what was the point?) A pair of pink underwear, a rhino plushie, and a journal, which she planned to secretly recycle. As she grabbed the final box, her hopes rose. It was the weight of an iphone 67! She slowly tore the thin wrapping paper, her heart pounding. It was like the contents of this box was a matter of life and death.


39753 -
modifier supprimer 39754 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-03

Find out the box contents tomorrow!

modifier supprimer 39743 - de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-29
Ecrivain - "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 3"

The voice was a steady, sharp one. He spoke with sigh; Luna one again sensed the fresh, crisp air.
'What are you?' Luna's voice was barely an inaudible whisper. The creature's delicate ears flicked at the sound. He turned full to face her now.
'I am the Wanil of the night.'
The words sent a tingle down Luna's spine. It was not one of fear; it was one of mystery, and adventure. 'What is your name?'
The Wanil's answer was an unexpected one. 'Tell me what me name is.'
Luna stepped toward the open window as if enchanted. Without hesitation she laid her hand on the Wanil's mane-covered neck and whispered, 'Your name is Vastwars'.


modifier supprimer 39735 - de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-27
Ecrivain - "Flip the switch"

All you need is a tiny spark
Just a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide
Just change the night
Dye your hair
Lose him in the dark
Sweet to sour
Light to dark
Just different sides of the same coin
All you need is a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide
Show your love
Live your life
Be alive
Thrive and not survive
Lose your way
Find your heart
As long as you hold on
To the feeling of love
All you need is a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide


39735 -
modifier supprimer 39783 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW

Thank you!

39735 -
modifier supprimer 39782 - Réponse de Winnie116 , 13 ans (Chine) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW

I love this poem!!

39735 -
modifier supprimer 39741 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-28

Thanks! I guess love has been on my mind lately

39735 -
modifier supprimer 39737 - Réponse de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-28

This is really good! Your poems are about love a lot lately.

modifier supprimer 39726 - de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-26
Ecrivain - "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 2"

Well Luna didn't go to sleep after all. She lay tossing and turning until she was too tangled in her quilt to move. She felt like the something was waiting for her. It made her restless. But it was stronger than ever tonight. She heard the regular tapping at the window.
'Why don't you go and see what that tapping is? Oh don't be ridiculous, it's only the tree outside. How come I've never gone and looked before? Because there's no point. Well it's louder than usual and it's better than flumping around on this damned mattress.' The Luna that thought the other Luna was being silly had nothing to say to that, and so the girl kicked of the quilt and making sure not to awaken her parents in the other room she walked over to the window and gently parted the curtains.
She took a step backwards as a small cry escaped her lips.
There, standing on the window-ledge outside was the most, majestic and wonderful creature she ever had and ever would see.
It had the legs and paws of a wild cat, the upper body of a wolf and the ears of a lynx. He had a Lion's mane that spread all the way down his back and tail. It swept, Luna thought, over his back like the night across the world. The hair that covered the rest of him was not much less thicker.
He fixed her with calm quiet eyes.
'Oh, Luna! Do you see me?'


modifier supprimer 39713 - de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-25
Ecrivain - "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 1"

So everyone, I've started on the story about the night spirit and all. This is just the Epilogue and I hope you like it!

Luna took one more look at the world of perfection that lay in before her. She stuck her nose out for one more smell before she went to bed. The smell was crisp and fresh; it was the smell of the night time. The Night Time!
Her heart always felt alive and free when the sun set and the night covered the world once more. It was a curious thing. Her heart set with the rising of the sun, and rose with the setting of the sun. It was not that she felt miserable when it was daylight. She just felt dull and weary, but in the night she felt lively and alert.
Luna wondered if the fact that she had been born in the evening might have something to do with it. Did she have a special connection with the night? Then there was her name. Luna. She wouldn't change it for the world.
There was another thing that Luna didn't realise. She looked like the night.
She had thick, wavy black hair and a face that glowed like the moon. And yet her face had never caused an alarming contrast with the darkness of her hair. It never occurred to Luna that the very sight of her own face and the hearing of her own name was what kept her lively and blithe in the day time.
Luna took one last look at the moon's friendly smiling face and sighing, closed the curtains and climbed into bed.
She hoped her family might move to Africa one day. She had heard it was so hot there that people slept during the day and went about there business at night. She went to sleep with that thought in her head.


39713 -
modifier supprimer 39725 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-26

Thanks!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39724 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-26

Thankyou! Your a very good writer as well!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39719 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-25

Great job! I love the simile: 'A face that glowed like the moon.' You are super talented!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39718 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-25

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39716 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25

It basically means instead of telling the reader that something is feeling or acting a certain way you show how they are acting or feeling for the reader to infer. For example you could say a forest is "spooky" or "The surrounding trees seemed to close in suffocating all life and happiness with it".

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39715 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-25

Thanks! But I don't quite understand what you mean by show and not tell?

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39714 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25

This is really good but make sure you show and not tell

modifier supprimer 39701 - de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-23
Ecrivain - "Can anyone help me with my story?"

Hello everyone. So I have a story idea but it's rather vague. I was thinking about all the activity off the night and I wanted to write a story about maybe a girl that discovers the spirit of the night a and explores the world of the moonlight. Does anyone have a suggestion of some more specific adventures to build it on?


39701 -
modifier supprimer 39705 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-23

Maybe it should depend on what spirit it is and the personality. Like night could be some sort of night animal in its form

39701 -
modifier supprimer 39704 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-23

Also, I'm trying to decide if the Spirits should take the shape of an animal, or fairy or something entirely made up?

39701 -
modifier supprimer 39703 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-23

Thanks, that's a brilliant idea!

39701 -
modifier supprimer 39702 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-23

Maybe she finds there's a spirit of the day too and has to solve the night and days rivalry before they go to war.

modifier supprimer 39688 - de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-20
Ecrivain - "Dancing alone/the monster inside"

Dancing alone is just as fun
Or so I tell myself
But I long to hold your hand
And dance with you in the rain
Underneath that old toll booth
We can sing at the top of our lungs
But no it can't be so
My shadow cannot hide
The monster just like me
Longs to dance alone
I tell it to play nicely
To bow and be polite
But never have I burst a laugh
Under it's watchful eye
So still I dance alone
Happy yet not free
But the fat lady has not yet sung
So my dream it soon shall be


39688 -
modifier supprimer 39691 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-20

Thanks!

39688 -
modifier supprimer 39690 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-20

Good one!👍

modifier supprimer 39662 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-13
Ecrivain - "Chapter two!"

After what felt like hours, I finally found the next studio. I see a girl who looks about Judy’s age, smiling and grabbing papers. What a relief! She looks SUPER nice! I walk up to her. “Hi! Are you my ballet instructor?” I ask sweetly, just to make sure. The girl frowns and shakes her head. “Sorry,but no. You’re stuck with Mrs.Wodish. Toughest teacher in the book. She’s Molly’s mom.” The girl whispers sympathetically. “Who’s Molly?” I ask. She gestures towards a girl in my group. Oh no. My ballet instructor is bun girl’s mom!!! “Molly’s won every competition she’s been in here.” The girl explains. “With her mom’s training, she’s the best of the best.” I feel faint. Jasmine and Molly have been hanging out this whole time. I’m interrupted by the girl patting me on the back. “You’ll be alright. I gotta go deliver these papers. Good luck!” She grins, then walks out the door. Mrs.Wodish will probably be here soon, and I’m in PANIC MODE!!!! Then a light bulb flashes over my head. I have a flip phone, and Jasmine has an iphone. What better way to chat privately? I pull it out of my pocket and open our chat.

Allie: Hey Jasmine, are we still friends?
Jasmine: Shut up, we aren’t allowed phones
In class!
Allie: But the teacher isn’t her-

“Allie and Jasmine, put away those devices, IMMEDIATELY!!!” Yells a sharp voice. I turn around in fear to see the tall, fit, beautiful girl that is no doubt, Mrs. Wodish. And in the back of my head, I can feel the jolting sting of Jasmine’s deadly glare. “You will both be serving detention, and your parents will be notified. And, no freezies!” Mrs. Wodish continued. Jasmine steps up to me and whispers into my ear. “You have RUINED my reputation! We will, never, ever, be friends.”


39662 -
modifier supprimer 39685 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-19

Sorry I'm still working on them because my spring break is over and I'm doing online school.

39662 -
modifier supprimer 39680 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-18

How much time for each new chapter to come out?

39662 -
modifier supprimer 39675 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-16

Thank you for the feedback!

-Maddie

39662 -
modifier supprimer 39668 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15

I like how the story's progressing! One thing I would say is to keep WORDS LIKE THIS to a minimum. Also, start a new line whenever a different character is speaking. Happy writing!

modifier supprimer 39658 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-12
Ecrivain - "Chapter one!"

This was it! I was entering Premiere dance, with my brand new duffel bag that my mom finally agreed to buy for camp attire! I was the last one to arrive, so I asked someone at a desk where the day camps took place. The guy gestured to a door marked ‘studio A’. I took that as a sign and marched right into studio A. Inside I saw a girl who looked about sixteen with legs like twigs and short ruby hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She wore huge fat rimmed black glasses, and a tank top with a name tag that read: INSTRUCTOR. She walked over, smiling. She held a clip board with a checklist on it. “Hello there! You must be… Allie?” She asked. When I nodded, she smiled. “My name is Judy Doward. I am your acro instructor.” She said sweetly. My face twists into a confused expression. “Acro?” I ask. “What’s acro?” Judy opens her mouth to reply but is interrupted by laughter from behind us. We turn to see a group of girls that must be my campmates. I see Jasmine, but mostly I see that she’s laughing too. Judy puts her hands on her hips playfully. “C’mon. The ol’ Alls is new! Give her a helping hand for Pete’s sake.” She teases. I smile at her. The girls shrug and begin to chat again. Judy bent down next to me and whispered into my ear: “Acro stands for Acrobatics, meaning like, rolls and flips and stuff.” And then she walks to the front of the studio. “Okay, girls! I need to pick up some freezies for later. But I will only get them if you promise to include Allie here in your chitter chatter. Deal?” Judy announces. The girls nod, and Judy leaves the studio. I walk over to Jasmine, who’s talking with a short girl with a few freckles and blonde hair pulled up in a tight bun. “Hey, Jasmine!” I exclaim. The girl she had been talking with glared at me and scooted away. I take her place. Jasmine glares at me as well and scoots away. I didn’t get it. I brushed my teeth this morning. I washed my hair. As far as I knew, all I’d done was said hi. I sit alone until Judy comes back. Judy gestures at me. “Were you including Allie?” She asks matter-of-factly. The girls shrug, and then Judy holds the box full of Mr.Freeze freezies over the trash can. The girls erupt in nods to save the freezies. I sigh. Maybe they were nervous for their first day too. “Ok!” Declares Judy. “Let’s get started!” She sits down on the floor. “Everyone separate.” Judy says. I rush to a spot near Jasmine, but It’s already taken by bun girl. I try to shrug it off and sit in the back left corner. Immediately, Judy twists in a pose that doesn’t look like something the human body should do! No matter how much I twist or turn, I just can’t do it! The other girls do it perfectly and laugh at me like I’m a big, clumsy, hippo. Maybe they’re not that far off. It goes on like this for the rest of class, but I still have hope. Because I, Allie Torian, do not give up that easily. Why would I? Jasmine was still my BFF, right? Or wrong? I should ask her during lunch. That seemed reasonable.But now, it was time to meet my instructor for next class. I hope they’ll be as nice as Judy! I hope I’ll be good at it! I hope Jasmine will talk to me! I hope, I hope, I hope…


39658 -
modifier supprimer 39667 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15

Hiya! I like the concept here, but I suggest breaking up the text into paragraphs to make the reading easier. ;)

39658 -
modifier supprimer 39661 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-13

Sorry, I'm still working on it! But I'm glad you liked the first chapter!

39658 -
modifier supprimer 39659 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-12

I hope the next chapter is coming out tomorrow?!

modifier supprimer 39644 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-11
Ecrivain - "Preview of my story!"

Hello! Today, April 23rd, I received what I thought was the best news ever. I was going to attend Premiere dance camp with my best friend! Me, my name is Allie, and my best friend, Jasmine, had been inseparable since when we met in kindergarten! It would start tomorrow, and I was psyched! I mean, she’s way better at dance then me, but I’d probably catch up, right?
SPOILER ALERT: I didn’t.
This is the story of my dance camp disaster, and how, thankfully, I made it out alive.


39644 -
modifier supprimer 39645 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-11

Chapter one coming tomorrow!

modifier supprimer 39627 - de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-07
Ecrivain - "I must go"

Today I fell and you did not see
How my heart stopped beating
And my life left me
Now you still believe I am here
Dreaming of you in sleep
Oh my darling never forget
The waltzes we would dance
The worlds we would emerge
and the memories we would make
Now you see that I am gone
Oh how your heart yearns for me
Please believe oh can't you see
I must go it is the only way
I am still here
Wherever you may go
Even though it won't show.


39627 -
modifier supprimer 39684 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-19

Look I don't want to start a fight but your only 12 years old and I'm perfectly fine with my poetry the way it is. It's not a story per se but a time capsule to a period in my life or a certain mood I was in.

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39683 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-19

It doesn't seem like you understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying there's a problem with the poem's structure, but the content is vague. This poem gives a sense of longing and sadness, but isn't very specific.
If you choose not to listen to my advice, that's fine. This is my constructive criticism from writer to writer.

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39681 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-18

Yeah I do that so the reader can interpret what's going on instead of dumping information.

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39677 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-17

Hi Delaney. I meant how the stanzas of the poem are connected to one topic.

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39674 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-15

Thanks Juliana but none of my poems are really meant to connect

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39669 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15

This is good! I suggest you work on conveying a message in the poems, because right now the ideas are good but how they're connected is unclear. Have a good day :)

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39643 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-10

Lol Thank you

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39642 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-10

This is kind of AWESOME!!!

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39633 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-08

Thanks!

39627 -
modifier supprimer 39632 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-08

As Wonderful as ever!

modifier supprimer 39604 - de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-03-29
Ecrivain - "The friend I used to know"

My friend of many years
We danced in the dark
Inside that old tool shed
Something's gone horribly wrong
My friend oh she has gone
She's not like herself
She's someone new
What on earth shall I do
Something darkens her eyes
She can tell my surprise
She tells the truth
That she's not herself
She's somebody else
Not the friend I knew
That danced with me in the dark
Laughing about everything and nothing at all
Oh I must take you to the light
Return the friend with eyes of bright
Not the one who relishes the night
On this journey I shall go
Burn down heaven
Walk through hell
Anything for the friend I used to know


39604 -
modifier supprimer 39742 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-28

Thanks!

39604 -
modifier supprimer 39676 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-17

Wow it's like a story!

-Maddie

39604 -
modifier supprimer 39606 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-03-30

Thank you! I got it from this alt song I really like called Your somebody else by Flora Cash. I tried really hard not to copy a lot of the lyrics though.

39604 -
modifier supprimer 39605 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-03-30

OMG! Absolutely beautiful! Where did you get insiiration from?

modifier supprimer 39599 - de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-03-28
Ecrivain - "I love the rain"

Rain, rain, rain
Rain, rain, rain
Your raindrops glistening on my window
Splattering on the yawn freshly mowed
Some people may consider you a pest
But I think you’re the best
You are the life to my life
You are the spring to my spring
Nature needs you
I need you.


39599 -
modifier supprimer 39602 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-03-29

Thank you! I really do love the rain!

39599 -
modifier supprimer 39601 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-03-29

This is the reverse song of 'Rain, Rain go away.' It's very good!

modifier supprimer 39576 - de Jacqueline137 , 15 ans (USA) - 2021-03-24
Ecrivain - "有什么中文小说推荐吗"

大家好! 我是 一个正在学习中文的美国人。尽管古典文学也可以,但我想对中国好的小说提出一些建议,最好是当代小说。


39576 -
modifier supprimer 39780 - Réponse de Winnie116 , 13 ans (Chine) - 2021-05-12 >> NEW

好久不见,杰奎琳^^!《草房子》其实是我们这边小学的必读书,但我觉得很不错,读起来心很平静。曹文轩还有一本书叫《青铜葵花》是差不多的类型,也分享给你!另外有一些刘慈欣的科幻小说。这些可能会比较难,但我先把书名写在这里,你想要找来看也可以!《三体》《流浪星球》《星际争霸》这几本是我稍微有些印象的。

39576 -
modifier supprimer 39598 - Réponse de yangrunze8 , 15 ans (Chine) - 2021-03-28

你好!你的中文说的很好,但是“建议”(相当于英文的“advice”)这个词好像用错了,你是不是想说“推荐”(recommend)呢?我认为你可以看一下曹文轩的《草房子》。

















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